Keep Fighting. Period.
Everything was falling apart.
I got off my bike and it was dead quiet. I had just finished the individual time trial at the Giro Rosa and, I knew it wasn’t my best day, but was it really that bad? Being met with silence from my team affirmed my worst fears. I had finished three minutes off the pace, out of the top ten, and it was a really hard pill to swallow. At the biggest stage race of the season, as my teammates sacrificed themselves for me, I just couldn’t deliver. I rode back to the team bus, taking that silence with me.
Image: Jojo Harper
I started to spiral. I’ve had tons of bad races but this felt like more. My period had arrived early, leaving me feeling completely flat and in pain. I had strange and severe stomach pain that was keeping me up at night. Even my skin was sensitive to touch. I couldn’t eat and I didn’t want to. I knew it wasn’t true but it felt like everyone else was having a perfect race while mine was a disaster. Nothing was going right this season, it was just obstacle after set back after bad luck, and now, as I slid down the GC from 3rd to 9th, I felt completely disheartened.
Of course, all of this was also happening in front of an audience. My teammates, the peloton, friends, family, and fans were all seeing me struggle and so the messages started. What was happening and why, I still wasn’t sure, but the support messages were clear: I had to find a way to keep fighting.
I made it through the next two stages, getting dropped, clawing back, and fighting for every single pedal stroke. Every time an attack went or the pace surged, I couldn’t draw on my physical abilities like I was used to. I had to really dig deep into my experience to keep it together. My mum called to remind me how I had overcome an eating disorder, a serious head injury and a hip fracture. My husband, who was thankfully there by my side, kept reminding me what I was normally capable of and what we had accomplished, although, really, just his presence was a source of strength. My team was incredibly supportive, fully understanding how much impact your period can have on performance, let alone stomach issues. My phone was also constantly beeping with encouragement from fans through messages on social media. I didn’t have the physical power but I was constantly reminded that I did have the strength.
Image: Sean Hardy
By Stage 9, the Queen Stage, the team doctor had helped get my stomach under control and I was over the worst of my period. I started to feel like myself again and Montasio, the big mountain top finish, was my chance to prove it. It was against the odds and the top riders in the world but, finally, my guts were saying let’s go for it.
The stage played out exactly as predicted. We hit Montasio and Annemiek van Vleuten attacked. All the favourites respond and—hallelujah—so did my legs. Anna van der Breggen, Lucinda Brand, Amanda Spratt and I chased hard. As we caught Annemiek, the pace was…you can’t even believe! I knew it was impossible to keep that power going without blowing up and, after Lucinda dropped off, so did I. Moments later, Amanda did too. While Annemiek and Anna powered on, I set my sights on chasing down Amanda.
I bridged to her strong and steady and as we hit the steep part together, I tried my best to get rid of her. I couldn’t shake her so when we hit the flat section, I slammed my gears into the big blade and punched the speed. I escaped from Amanda, crossed the line for 3rd on the stage, 4th in the GC, and I had never felt so relieved.
I received lots of messages after Stage 9. The messages that recognized my low along with my stage podium were the ones that stayed with me. The people who noticed me struggle, saw me fight, and how I turned it around from such a low place, had seen something that felt vulnerable to me. The exposure of my difficulties had demonstrated, even to myself, a strength that went beyond watts and bikes.
Image: Anton Vos
We all go into big races as prepared as possible but reality constantly shows us that races, seasons, and life never go to plan. The lesson, however, isn’t that life is unpredictable but that we can be resilient and rise above whatever challenges come our way. I’ve learned that lesson over and over again but, still, I keep learning it because as we rise, the difficulty of our challenges rise with us. It never gets easier but our capacity to handle what we once thought impossible is unfailing if we have faith in our fighting spirit.
Join Ashleigh at the Harvest Tour
Girona’s Best Climbs
There is so much to ride and experience as a cyclist in Girona but there are three must-do climbs that every rider should experience and no rider will forget.
Rocacorba
Stats: 10.7km, 7%, 742m, Category 1
We aren’t just partial to our namesake climb, Rocacorba has a history every cyclist should become a part of. Used for over a decade by many local pros as a testing climb, the famous mountain is a challenge to anyone and everyone. The 10.7 kilometre climb has a deceptive overall gradient of 7%. Starting teasingly gentle before levelling off and demanding your easiest gear on sections up to 11%, disciplined pacing will pay off for the last half of the climb that averages 9%. However, the quiet tree-lined road offers just enough respite to remain achievable for the determined weekend warrior. Keep your eyes peeled toward the top for the faded “Look Right” painted on the road to see spanning Pyrenean peaks through an opening in the trees. If you ride it on the weekend, reward yourself with a coffee and a cupcake from the seasonal Rocacorba Food Truck on your way down.
Strava link: https://www.strava.com/segments/686229
Mare de Déu del Mont
Stats: 18.5km, 5%, 919m, Category: HC
Boasting a 360 degree view that includes the peaks of the Pyrenees and Costa Brava coastline on a clear day, there aren’t many cycling climbs like the 18.5 kilometre Mare de Déu del Mont. There are two roads up D’El Mont that join past the mid point. Both options are narrow and twisty roads through the forest with steep hairpins but, if you choose the less popular route through Besalu instead of approaching via Cabanelles, add on an extra 1.5km. Where the two roads join the road quality improves and there is 6.8km to go. When you hit the 500m flat/downhill section 13 kilometres in, take a moment to enjoy the exposed view and prepare your legs for the final ascent to the summit. You’ll leave the trees behind and ride past the rocky cliffs before the final 300 meters that wrap around the back of the peak. After 18.5 kilometres with an average gradient of 5%, as the road ends, you’ll feel on top of the world. Make sure you park your bike and venture up to the church and cafe so you can get the whole 360 experience.
Strava link: https://www.strava.com/segments/3449399
Els Angels
10.1km, 3%, 344m, Category 2
Just outside of Girona, Els Angels is conveniently placed less than ten minutes from the city centre but you’ll feel miles away from the city. A staple climb for every local cyclist, pro and amateur, the twisty forrest-lined road has an approachable average gradient of 3% but, over 10.1 kilometres, it still requires some legs. The variable terrain will keep your attention with hairpins, downhills, flat and fast sections, and a few short steep rises that will tempt you out of the saddle. While the big cross marks the official summit for cyclists, you can continue up toward the Santuari dels Àngels church to see where Salvador Dali was married and catch a better view of the land and your accomplishment.
Strava link: https://www.strava.com/segments/654192
Want to experience all the climbs on offer and more? Check out our tour packages or let us customise a trip to your needs.
Guest Perspective: Ashleigh Girona Bike Tour
Ashleigh's Girona Tour exceeded all my great expectations. The riding routes, all expertly led by Ashleigh Moolman Pasio herself, were spectacular and challenging. On the first day, we did an epic climb past medieval castle ruins to the monastery atop the Mare de Deu d’El Mont with breathtaking 360 degree views of the entire region. Next we took a long scenic ride past volcanic ranges to the cobbled streets of Beget nestled in a remote, fairytale valley with a ranging mountain torrent roaring below stone bridges. The next day we crossed flat plains all the way to the incredible cliffside vistas of the Costa Brava and back. Finally, I had the good fortune to be paced to an excellent time all the way up the fabled "benchmark" Rocacorba climb by Ashleigh herself!
What made the tour overall such a rewarding and enriching experience was not only the challenging daily riding, but all of the amazing secondary support and activities the tour provided. Staying in a fully modernized but historical stone villa provided the perfect setting for rest, quiet, and relaxation. A lavish continental breakfast was laid out for us every morning before we awoke. Our laundry was done for us each day and returned neatly folded. Our rooms serviced and cleaned while we rode. Delicious, home cooked meals were provided, filled with great conversation, conviviality, and lots of good humour. Restaurant meals were equally exceptional and each one highlighted different regional specialties. Everything was included in the very reasonable price of the tour.
Each day's ride was fully supported as well providing extra supplies at strategic points. We had a professional photographer one day and many other great photos and videos shot by others driving sag or tagging along. Each ride included two or more guides to accommodate everyone's optimal pace and no one was pushed too hard or slowed down. My Cervelo R3 disc rental bike was a revelation. Truly a masterpiece to handle which gave me great confidence over a variety of terrain and conditions which included some gravel, some alpine style epic descents, damp and wet roads. I didn't expect to like my rental bike more than my own bike! After each ride, it was cleaned and tuned up optimally for the next day. I would definitely rent rather than bring my bike all the way from the USA.
What I found most enthralling was the opportunity to ride in close proximity day by day with a champion cyclist like Ashleigh Moolman Pasio and other ex-pro athlete guides. We were also greatly enriched on every ride and evening by a variety of luminaries from the professional cycling world who added great stories and legends from the pro women's peloton. A leading agent in women's cycling. A top Instagram cycling photographer. A prominent soigneur in the Girona cycling scene. A leading cycling journalist. The foremost commentator of English language broadcast cycling. The local manufacturers behind the Tactic clothing line we received as complimentary jerseys. Finally, we even got to meet many other professional cycling luminaries in person at the very memorable Girona Gala for Qhubeka on the final evening!
Truly an epic and memorable tour I would most highly recommend to any strong and adventurous cyclist. This region of Catalonia is a Mecca for professional cyclists for a good reason. I myself cannot wait to return for another Ashleigh Tour!
Ashleigh Girona Cycle Tour
It’s the off-season but I’ve just finished a week-long five stage tour. It included lots of coffee stops, all my favourite roads, and a bunch of new friends. It was my inaugural Girona Cycling Tour that I hosted and it really opened my eyes to a new way to push women’s cycling forward.
The Girona Cycling Tour at it’s most simple was a cycling holiday but it’s part of a bigger vision we are working to achieve at Rocacorba Cycling. When it comes to tackling the complexities of women’s cycling, it took a long time for us to manifest something actionable but, after the tour, I knew we were onto something powerful.
It seems obvious but not every sport allows people of all levels to come together. Not anyone can join the Springboks for rugby or FC Barcelona for football but pro women’s cycling is a bit different. We have the ability to not just allow, but also to welcome supportive cyclists and fans into the process. By reaching out and making real-life connections with other cyclists/fans, we can access and strengthen the support we desperately need.
As in any new endeavour, I was excited but unsure of how the week would go. Would everyone get along? How could I make sure everyone felt included? Was the weather going to hold up? As the riders arrived, I saw they also had “new experience” jitters but as soon as we hopped on our bikes, all of our concerns melted away. There was a wide range of abilities, different experience levels, and different approaches to cycling but it didn’t matter. By the end of the week we were all happily physically tired but mentally energized.
That energy stayed with me. By taking down all the barriers and allowing people in during a simple cycling tour, I felt that I had made actual change! It seems small but I know everyone left with a sense of connection that will touch their relationship with women’s cycling forever.
The future of our sport is in connecting the dots, making deeper lasting connections, and doing that in as many different ways as possible whether that’s a minimum wage policy or a coffee with a new friend during a holiday tour. The beauty of women’s cycling is that it has the opportunity to be open and welcoming to different models and practices. There are so many different ways to advance women’s cycling and, with a multitude of attack points and an open mindset, everyone (especially professionals) can contribute to the growth and sustainability of our sport.
Click here to ride with me next year from 5th-11th October, 2019.
